G., a 42-year-old Manhattan-based risk consultant for banks, had no idea he was being played.(He asked that only his initials be used for privacy reasons.) “She masked the ‘take men for what you can get’ mentality so well,” he recalls — at least at first. Both parties are trying to figure out a happy medium where they can work together on a common goal for the foreseeable future.What that really boils down to is one side wanting something the other has and vice versa. Wining and dining are par for the course when wooing a potential life partner, but when extravagance becomes the focal point, one has to question whether the relationship is based on genuine love or just money. " When he first met a beautiful, inquisitive and upbeat doctor during a singles trip, K. What she has to offer: "I think I'm a loving and generous person, have a great career and an independent life." RIGHT: Amanda Marie, 21. What she has to offer: "I have looks, youth, fun, spontaneity and dedication!In our shaky economy, financial security is more volatile now than ever before.Men are increasingly sensitive about finding someone genuine who will stick with them “for richer or poorer.” They often avoided a woman if she wrote in her online profile something along these lines: “I love shopping” or “I adore fine wines and champagne.” In an initial email exchange, men cringed if a woman wrote “I’m looking for a man who is generous” or “a man who has achieved career success.” Men believed these were proxy statements for “I want to be taken care of financially.” Of course, these were often misperceptions, but in the early stages of dating, perception is reality.
All these men really want is to find a feminine, smart, and sane woman they can love.’” Over the course of a year of dating, there were extravagant trips to Europe and, for her birthday, he splurged on a Cartier watch. Not only should the woman have a job, says Spindel, but a sizable income — six figures is expected. For Robin Kassner, a 30-something CEO of her own firm, Haute PR, her future husband’s wallet, like his heart, can never be too big.But when his birthday rolled around five months later, he was treated to a “mediocre” restaurant, sans present. “As a successful woman, I’m looking for someone of my caliber — not some schlump off the street, but someone as successful as me — or more.” The flaxen-haired vixen is heaving with desire, and has the décolletage-baring dresses to prove it.“Gold Digger” is a crass label no one wants, but after interviewing 1,000 single men, I discovered it’s being applied to women more often than they think (and often unfairly).David, age 37 from Long Island, NY, described his recent date this way: “She was looking for a ‘Perfect 10:’ the guy who’s a 5 on the looks scale with million in the bank.” As a dating coach and matchmaker, I’ve spent the past ten years conducting some unconventional dating research using an “exit interview” tactic I learned at Harvard Business School and applied to the dating world.