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I was in love with love and this man, who from all outward appearances had a lot of love to give.What I didn’t understand at the time was, due to my childhood, I was conditioned to rescue the needy, to help them, help themselves.When we first met my ex husband was charming, needy and couldn’t be around me enough.He was every woman’s idea of the perfect man…in the beginning.

The woman who marries the passive aggressive man was taught in her family of origin to accept a high level of frustration for a minimal level of love and caring. He was an alcoholic who found it easier to deal with problems by drinking.But ultimately the thing doesn't get done — or doesn't get done right.Or maybe you've been in a conflict with someone, and rather than addressing the issue directly, they pout or act sullen.It can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.It is a defense mechanism, and (more often than not) only partly conscious.

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